memories

some things will not go away
some memories
what you told her
what did you feel
what tought and dream
what I was not aware of

from such a long time
you never spoke to me
you never wrote to me
like you did to her

you do not loved me
you do not love me now

I will not forget
I can not forget

I was forgotten
deceived
lied

And maybe you still afraid
to look deeply into your heart
get rid of your guilt and stings of remose
I do want to be with you
because of those

make a decisionsans
and keep truly with them

you say nice things now
but they are not the same
well they shouldn’t be the same
like you did to her

they should be better
but I do not feel it

don't think she just give up
she will not run away
not yet

don’t think she just give up
she choosed to fight
for one last time

against her need for freedom
new experiences
new life

life could be so easy,
it would be so good
to get rid of all frets
from her head

she choosed to fight
against the reason

for such a foolish thing
as love is

There was a girl,
a stupid girl,
who only wanted
to love and to be loved.

She knew
the world
is not a nice place
and people…
are just people
with their weakneses
and defects.

The same as she was.

She wanted a change,
started to look
for a better sides of life,
she wanted to trust,
to forget about fear,
to be happy,
against everything
she belived before.

And there was a boy.

They met each other.

She started believe
everything will be fine.

She was a bit of blind
but liked that state of mind.

She felt commited,
so much united.
She learn what it means to love.
Thought it will be enough
to deal with all difficoulties.

And the season have changed,
leaves felt down
and revieled
that love was not suficient.

Or maybe she just imagined
there was the same feeling
from his side
because true love never betray…

What happened with the white candle
they lighted together?

There was a girl,
a stupid girl,
who only wanted
to love and to be loved.

story about dogs

There was an old story about dogs..

and there are two dogs also.

one is calm and peacefull,
loves his master,
trusts him,
believes him
Likes to be with him,
to play,
to walk,
he is kind a one
you wish to have.

The second is wilder,
sometimes bites masters hand.
He was wounded many times
by bad people.
That is why he is aftraid of trust,
keeps the distance,
does not expect good feelings,
just the roof under his head
and bowl full of meat.

He would maybe go away
long time ago.
He dreams about freedom,
but also knows the freedom well
and can not decide yet
to leave.

Sometimes
those dogs fight
with each other.
It is not easy to tear them apart…
This is normal in dogs wold.

And sometimes
second dog protects the first one
from kids from the streets
who would pull his tail
and throw stones.

Their master feeds
and takes care both of them.

You will ask why.
You say there is no need of the bad dog…

The first one needs protection,
even if he knows the reality
is not strong enough to face it alone…

That is what the master judge,
not like in the old story…

So, so far from stars,
so far from space of fields and meadows,
far from true smell of spring,
from fairy-taile snow.

So, so far from good time,
so far from peace of mind…

You remeinded me I was right
not to trust,
and to not commit into someone else.

You took so much from my life,
my love to some places,
my hope,
my belief in humanity.

I was naive but it made me happy
for the short period of time.

How to go on?

not strong enough

I feel you do not love me,

you haven’t love me for some time
maybe you did not love me truly at all
and you will not love me tomorow
maybe you do not know the true meanig of it?
But it is no good excuse.

I won’t ask for it
I’m to proud for it
I can live without it
and be happy one day!

I will only ask for the truth,
think what is true!
and tell me
as there is no point to waste more time

You tell me these words're hurting you,
you need time to thing ovet it
and it is so much for consideration,
thoughts and feelings in one go
because of everything.

No

There is one easy point about it!

You made me feel to much,
you made me bear to much,
you can change it
now is your tourn to make another steps
for good or for worst.

If for worst tell me now,
I don’t want to live in insecurity.
I do not deserve for such a treatment.

I am not strong enough
I am not strong enough
for you and for me.

It was your foult,
you force me to be patient,
to understand you feelings,
to be lenient…

I am not strong enough
to deal with your and my weakneses.
It is your tourn to be strong.

I wish I could get up
and be relief from everything.


to nie jest poezja

Pisanie moje?
To żadna poezja,
choć czasem układam słowa w strofy…
żeby nadać im jakiś porządek,
żeby uniknąć monologów tekstu
pisanego w zwykły sposób.

To nie wiersze.
To moje wołanie,
moje myśl,
uczucia,
niepokoje,
które muszą wyjść z mojej głowy,
oczyścić ,

które chcą się uwolnić,
poznać przestrzeń,

może niektóre z nich nie będą chciały wrócić?

full of doubts

tell me to go
mayby this is the best way to make us happy?

it’s so hard to belive in you worlds
it’s so hard to belive you’ll change
and will be with me always when i need it

it’s so hard to start living again
it’s so hard to start everything from the begining
as many thing are to deep and hurt so much

it’s so difficoult to find a new hope
to fight
to struggle
every day
with my all weakness

it’s so sore to be alone
to cry
to doubt
every day
befriend again my solitude

I do not want to go
but mayby this is the best way?

I still belive in love?…
somehow I’ve forgotten what does it mean…

we have forgotten

a song

there will be a day I will find my strenght
to leave
to be free
to make my other dreams come true

as my old dreams crashed
with the stone of your lies and unkept promesses
your misnderstanding
of meanig „true love”

I was so naive
believing we’d so much in common
well, we do
and do not

everything is changed
you changed
or you are still the same
but I did not know you at all
it was only a game of pretending

And do not say I’ve changed
I did not
I warned you once I am not like you think
but I belived you saing you handle it

you left me with all my night mares

there will be a day I will find my strengh